Sunday 29 May 2022

Letter unknown woman.... page one of a few maybe to do later

 And so at last, maybe just for the day

I can begin


Was it a year ago?

The absurd thing in my life is that whilst nothing ever happens, too much my life where only simplification is god;  it seems like a decade ago.  One "poignant" word

But perhaps just a year.

I could look it up, but "looking it up" is such a disastrously dull artless thing to do. Screens and 'data' hold nothing. Only the human mind holds 'something'. But god only know why...

To business: Every 'knowing' commentator nowadays uses 'her' word.

Even Heather and Bret make a plane ride to some irrelevant conferences about nothing, into some melodrama after the Apocalypse, and steal her word ..

"oh my oh my it was so poignant traveling again now we are free to get on a plane,  as if everyone knows we are in some inter Apocalypse phase and the Apocalypse is coming back.."

Basically fuck off. 

One unknown woman wrote that word a year, or lifetime ago, on her wall (if they still say that) and ... way before anyone else, except me, who never died, she came back to some kind of life...or that's what I assumed.....

But that was just one word, one day. Me i been living on planet poignant in a universe of gorgeous mad creativity a decade.. that was my 'gift'....

Nothing happened. For years nothing happened.

And one day one human wrote 'poignant' on her wall.

All that happened was decades of self regard and crappy consuming, distracting all... one day someone had the time and space to write 'poignant'...

So be it.  Me i lived ultra turbocharged poignant from about the first week of April 2020. Every day... dancinfgg with the angels and cycling the flowerful lanes with them on my handlebars that glorious spring (2020 the gloriousest year of all..) 

But last night.

I know what the word 'poignant' really does mean. Which  - seeing it, so clear, is freedom. And thus time to begin.

But before we get to that there is a poignant atmosphere one has to somehow create. And the hardest thing of all is that although one wakes up today to hear on the 


But it fits.

How on earth an one translate this feeling into English never mind write it in such a way that it travels into other languages. Because i do believe there is only one language I would like to get some 'meaning' over into. 

But the ultimate foolish errand is to imagine that the soul that one 'culture' creates is even slightly visible in some other.

And today one hears that they, here, are even beginning to ask the fat people if they want their pounds and ounces back. Well being most are many stones, of course they will: twenty stone sounding perhaps easier on their ears than several hundred kilos. 

But forget that. I did on the thirty first of January in the fabulous year of twenty twenty. 

And start here. Setting the tone: 

Though i suspect the translation is rather off.  Or this one at least is a bit wonky?

Sleep. But what a sleep. To dream perchance i don't that often.

But ...

Well i think it may have something to do with my location.

"sleep sleep..."

Now, how does one get into words  the most lovely possible dream. 

It is the easiest CONTENT to describe ever - a simple conversation just her and I sat close together talking about now. Her 23 me my age... now. But it was the serene quality of the talk - how poignant should be: no hurt, no issue, just something good that should be and has a bit of real liofe in the background and we should never be sorrowful at real life, eventually...

But that one dream it is as if all of this was put to sleep at last

Maybe by starting something new, but this time for the very last time.

There is no point doing this just for oneself

And thus soon it will be time to leave....soon...

But i do want to start and finish this first. As after a dream like that i know what feels good.

But before i even slightly get to that sort of dull memoir, it is the now that matters.

If anyone ever saw out texts - me and the big fat brown man builder... my truest joy ever ever.... 

" i can't i don't have the diversity credentials to cover my ass but you could......"

If we do we will be rich...never mind actually help something that everyone else jhas their knickers in a  twist over and it matters... All lambs matter.

To be continued.

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