Monday 29 August 2022

what is being a dad part 3a (there will have to be a 'b' too)

 Well it is TRYING.... 

to say 'something'...

despite the emabarassment...

Indeed a few years ago i knew one thing, all these hustlers and their schemes.... pretending to care about t'environmet and all that.... 

people pleasing...

may as well be Telletubbies.


One has to at least 'leave' some fairly accurate record of who one was. 

For a lass lost.


lassoed by the same ol' Military Industrial Complex


who added in to their cannon

I call The Monolith

Public relations,. media spin and spin..and big Farma and small penises requiring big cars and bigger planes and bigger everything to compensate...

which was named a decade ago by me, after my mother's cos she may as well have eaten her young too...

Anyway trying to say 'something'.

One ends up with a  few stages. 

Being careful: "hmmm... that may upset her; seeing that he may wish to kill me.."

SO one ends up forgetting ones own woven web which is only ever centred in one place - healthy psychological environments for nippers..and grown up nippers, who maybe havent quite grown up as much as the old fashioned standard model, too....

and here we have some recent video waffling

ALL about that same one thing deep down

And assuming makes an ASS out of U


I know what i am about.

And the mistakes i have made.

And one, i still believe was not, one of them...

Anyway one day i shall weave together all the threads and i know i dont need any reskeining

cos i did it

ANyway that channel - one of about 3 or 4 i have 

STILL hasnt uploaded one of ME chopping my wood

we have (so unfriendly!) 


we interviewed but what is the point....

selfish and sharp elbowed even the modern day Woodlanders...

(and thats a fuckin compliment as t was Hardy's best book by far...but no all modern day even Woodlanders just assume and spit...)

oh here it is 

all a chap wants is a film of im chopping wood to pass on to a daughter...impossible to get any help in atomised and fearful uk.... thine funeral.

most important thing os all... airing your linnen. There is no better smell in the world even The Carlton Cannes couldnt match with ever parfum ever invented 

talking of funerals

but then...(this aint part 3 yet ...i must ramble on) 

Rural ... Ralph... see weaving all, all the finest books in the world - Woodlanders, Mars Room, Silas.... Extinction...
They simply cannot show anyone the only thing that defines us. 
Mr Taleb's Black Swan.
So beautifully put by him, in allegory sublime...

That it is impossible to know - no matter how much money you pay to modern day witchdoctors and snake oild vendors,  otherwise known as counsellors and Mindfulness gurus... even if they are usually esses...
Until the event happens. Or you get into 'bed' with him.... you can never know how you will feel. 
It is impossible.

But cos no one reads an good fuckin books any more...bimbo crap on what someone has on their menu... or other such crap..No one can know this any more. Because Taleb made one mistake only: his genius allegory needed a REAL story..a human melodrama  for him to tell it best.....
And thus no matter how bored one is of the hustlers even if these days usually esses, and their schemes...or usually dreams they pretend are schemes..
I shall write or finish mine.... its the ultimate Black swan ... events.... hahh hahhh... for twenty glorious years of hell
I would not have one second of it any other way.
Which Plato and Aristotle failed o discover as the actual meaning of happiness - or rather centredness and useful purpose. So so so much better a thing than their decadent "happiness" i know cos i am happy every day no matter what..

Now on being a dad part 3


dont lie even when you should.

hopping over:
 which of curse even the reverend said she would speak about over a cuppa... then goes weird
despite being offered for free NO STRINGS several grands worth of furniture for her self pitying death cult of a Christian church
her knowing full well i am off from this sceptic shopping Aisle 
cos she has sen much of Heidi and even her Euroland  predecessor 
i share my best things.
Cos thats human.
Being human.

So yes... at the 

"write her a song and perform it.."
" yes..look i believe in the magic and at least you have suggested something everyone else runs away crying.... but i wont have time..i must must stop and be me again i already been someone else far too long...."

thioughbubble that evening: "hmm... i must not be me - i must do what she matter how daft... i have tried quite good poetry even though not The Ring yet ... hang on... that utter genius song...  rude lady doesnt answer texts after being so friendly in people too! ... she told by super musos of my acquaint she is genius and has it and they will help.... no answer .. fucker... thats what finding 'god' a few years later does i guess. turns you inhuman.... if i used it ... no one would ever know...she is now a lost cause... i could... yes do it... ' all's fair in love and war' as they say.... "

see blogger a youtube product cannot find it now

"no one would ever know..."

but then....
"but then....i would ... and i would now it was wrong...
" song" 
maybe thats what a dad would know?
SO long since i been one 
what would i know.

But i do know one thing.
if you respect THEIR environment..
those whom
spawn matter what vile and seditious circumstances surround you
Look after their future

And most ofthese books are crap

Nothing tells you that always believe and never ever take it personally and to heart
and winning is every day for 13 years a remnder.
And not running away from any pain ever.


you end up with this
another generation who ruined my last eight years in paradise
until the next generation come along
who no longer even know that a gate to
the goatfield
(next to my front door aside public lands - peopled by people who love there too)
must be closed

as if you dont 
get hurt
not you.

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